what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize