u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
