Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
