Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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