I puked a lego.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
