Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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