Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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