Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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