theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
