Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
