When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
