A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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