My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So many bounce houses so little time
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Randomize
