I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
