from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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