So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
