what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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