But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
