Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize