One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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