I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
