Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
