Kiss
Puke
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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