You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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