My first STD was from a foam party
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
