Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
