strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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