in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
