Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
