You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
