I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
