theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
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