Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
