what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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