I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
