It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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