Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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