so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm always down for nudity.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
