Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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