Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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