after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
