$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
