he wants to bone in the snuggie
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
