is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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