Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
