I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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