brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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