i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
