does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
