Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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