Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
