4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
