i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
