That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
